Day the Ninth

Today I had some time to think...... in the old days all this would do is make me more depressed but luck some things have changed...: ) SO here what I came up with ... please don't think of it as poetry because its not but it is how I'm feeling at the moment.... : )

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Why is it that when I look up at the night sky I feel full, even though the sky is empty…..
And when I look inward all I find is void? No matter how hard I try?

Once not long ago, I was full …so full…. as to over spill with self loathing and grief…
Those things alone nearly killed me time and time again, from within to with out……

Though those days are past, grief and anger gone ….so long has it been ...that in the glass nothing remains…..
The only question left ....was it worth it? To give up pain and anguish when in life that’s all you have known?

At first the answer was YES! And then it became NO? then maybe…then I’m not sure…
Then the truth itself became clear that it only matters with what you fill the void……..
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Why is it I can only get myself to listen to my own advice when I write it down to say it a million times in my head doesn't even equal up to a single time in print... wonder if I'm alone in that....